The photos probably speak for themselves but then I thought, what the hell, here's your chance to explain your kitsch food fetish once and for all.
My husband's always put it down to an early adulthood of too much Cinzano and lemonade (yes, in the same glass). But seeing as I haven't touched Cinzano since I drank a whole bottle at a hockey cabaret in Manjimup in 1974, I think it's more deep-seated than that.
I think some people are born with a kitsch gene and even if they struggle against it for years and years, they one day end up making, say, a dozen Rudolph cupcakes.
For some reason this kitsch food fetish only surfaces on holiday-type occasions. As in, Christmas or Easter looms and I get really excited and go into a frenzy of searching through recipes for something suitably naff.
The Rudolph cupcakes are a bastard to make because you have to pipe 24 melted-chocolate antlers on to baking paper. Which means you (as in, I) pipe 37 crap antlers before you get the hang of it, then you have to go out and buy more chocolate and melt it down and pipe 24 more.
The melted chocolate goes everywhere. I found some in my belly button and also behind my ears. I didn't tell my family this, of course, and they quite happily ate the lot.
The snowman cupcakes were less successful, mainly because I couldn't be bothered making the cupcakes. By this time it was 10pm on Christmas Eve, I was full of Yellow Glen and my family made an executive decision involving vanilla ice cream and Ice Magic.
Even so, I managed to breathe new life into a Martha Stewart concept: two marshmallows and a fruit-jube hat threaded on a toothpick, with coloured sprinkle thingies for eyes and nose.
Result: Chucky Snowman. Not my finest moment.
This echidna pav was made for Australia Day. I was toying with the idea of Kylie Minogue but realised she was probably a pav too far.
Dead easy to make: bake your meringue in a pointy oval shape, cover with whipped cream, add dried cranberries for eyes and after-dinner mint sticks for spines.
Serve on a turkey platter (echidna platters being hard to come by).
Now it's nearly Easter and I'm on the hunt again. Nigella Lawson has a recipe for rabbit curry called Hot Cross Bunny, which appeals on many levels.
But if you have any other suggestions, I'd love to hear them.
8 comments:
I've always wanted to devour childhood symbols of giving and sharing :) Rudolph's head sure tastes good mm-mm. (I never got presents from Santa...)
Now you havea blog you can be subject to SPAM! (SPAM!) so here's your offical (yes, it's official!) spam for the day:
http://www.cakewrecks.blogspot.com/
Cakes that look like things... yeah these people spend A LOT of time on that (P.S. Free Valium if you call 664939276426477!!)
Great article but I can't get beyond the chocolate going everywhere bit. I'm hoping your family ate the rudolph cupcakes and not the bits of chocolate that ended up in your belly button and behind your ears. Happy Easter.
Gail: I didn't word that very well, did I? My family only ate the cakes. Although there's a chance they would've licked my ears if I'd asked them nicely, it being Christmas and all :)
Bilby: Great spam. My favourite cakewreck is the creepy baby. I see it was made by someone called Michelle. We're obviously a talented bunch.
Well I spam to please :P
Very talented! Every cake I've ever made for birthdays has turned into an 'igloo' cake - owing to not being any good at cake making. Lots of icing covers a multitude of sins and it is fairly easy to make it look like an igloo.
Looked at the cup cakes and thought, great, haven't stopped laughing (except to write this). I gave up baking ages ago, in actual fact gave up the oven (don't have one, something to do with renovations). besides my cakes never turned out very good.
Take a look at these amazing cupcakes: http://veganyumyum.com/2007/06/knit-night-cupcakes/ Nothing like setting yourself a challenge - you could always do a scarf in Carlton colours!
Rhonda, I've just had a look. Talk about spectacular (I think they were summed up best by the commenter who wrote, "Holy crap!").And here's me thinking I could get away with french toast cut into bunny rabbit shapes.
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