I have a very dear friend, single for a long time, who for the last three months has been in a relationship with a man who is witty, intelligent and passionate.
We're talking about passion with a capital P, both physically and emotionally. He even sends her e-mails from work along the lines of, "Only six hours until I can touch you again."
The last time I saw her, which was the last time I was in Perth, the two of them had just spent a particularly lovely weekend together.
That was four weeks ago. He hasn't spoken to her since.
He doesn't return her calls, nor has he replied to her e-mails.
He's not dead. She knows this because she rang his workplace. Apart from that, though, she doesn't have a clue what happened.
So, for the past four weeks she's been through various kinds of hell, starting with puzzlement, going through bleak disappointment and hurt, and ending where so many women end up: It's probably my fault.
It's not, of course. The guy's an arsehole. A gutless wonder who didn't have the balls to say, "I need a break" or "I'm having second thoughts" or whatever it was that was disturbing the universe that is him.
My friend recently entered the next stage of this awful affair: anger.
Now, I've seen her when she gets angry and feel that someone should probably say to this bloke, "Be afraid. Be very afraid."
It won't be me because I think he deserves whatever's coming. I'm now waiting with bated breath to see if it makes the evening news and if it involves his testicles and a mangle.
She's already talked about hiring a skywriter but I suspect it may go way beyond that.
12 comments:
In the words of Ricky Ricardo, "he's got some splaining to do". What a wanker. I'd love to see the 'testicles mangle thing' in action.
Me too, Davinia. I'll see what can be arranged.
I do know a technique which will enhance the testicle mangle thing.
I feel for your friend, some men can be absolute wankers.
In the U.K. newspapers there is an account of a two timing chap who had his penis stuck to his stomach with super glue by a bevy of outraged wives and girlfriends.
Both this and the mangle need close contact, but....
Well I'm glad you appreciate the fact that some good old ball mangling is one of the most PAINFUL THINGS ON EARTH. Suitable punishment for sure.
Ha! Super glue!
Oh, my heart hurt when I read that. Hopefully, when she gets over the hurt and anger, she'll remember some of the good times. He doesn't sound as if he's worth worrying about.
Well that sounds real wanky doesn't it. Maybe she'll see him face to face sometime and she can kick him in the balls or something.
Well, to be honest, by the time she's finished he's going to wish he'd never clapped eyes on her. She's just e-mailed me with details of what she did and said it's OK to blog about it. It's hilarious. I'll spill the beans tomorrow.
My step-daughter cut up all her blokes clothes after she caught him cheating! Not physically painful, but probably didn't make him too happy.
Hi Michele, hows your friend doing after the 'Up the garden path 1'?
I watched the first episode, season 1 of Sex and The City the other night and it reminded me of your story.
there are way too many similarities in what happened to your friend and Sex and The City. Maybe this passionate man watched the very same episode and decided to become one of those men in it.
I am a fan of the series and occasionally when there is nothing else to watch i begin watching my favourite tv shows again.
Hope she is feeling better and found a way to deal with the dick.
Hi Birgitta, I've been meaning to do an update on this post. Will do it some time this week, it's very funny.
Good job that she's discovered he's a shit, she might have wasted even more of her life on him.
GG
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