Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Chug-a-hug

Being grabbed by people I don't know very well has never done much for me. Neither am I very good at this hugging-as-a-hello thing that's become so fashionable in the last ten years.
I think my problem stems from growing up in Yorkshire where public displays of touching one another happened only at birthdays and burials, and even then only if you were wearing a coat.
As time has passed I've got much better at hugging people I've only just been introduced to, but I still freak when someone invades my personal space in a major way.
Which is why I always walk down the middle of the aisles in the Myer cosmetics' department, in much the same way as I've always walked down the middle of the street if it's after dark and I'm on my own.
But this seems to be working less and less. A few weeks ago I looked briefly at some of this new mineral foundation that's advertised endlessly on TV (it apparently makes your complexion look "flarless", which is American for perfect).
Three seconds later I'd been grabbed, half my face was covered in it and the girl wielding the brush was telling me it would look even better - "Like, you'll get that total doll look" - if I applied it over the top of normal foundation. Sort of like brick veneer for the face, I suppose.
Even when I said, "I'm 56 years old - why would I want to look like a doll?" - she didn't pause for breath, just launched into a spiel on the importance of brushing in a circular motion.
By the time I escaped, one side of my face was very beige and "flarless", and the other wasn't. I looked like a Kingston biscuit after someone had licked off the filling.
Funnily enough, no one stopped and asked me if I wanted a hug.

2 comments:

Bilby P. Dalgyte said...

Touching people is fun...

OK that sounded creepy (because it was?) but people just randomly seem to want to talk to me/touch my hair/hug me. It's very weird. Today I got greeted by a hug, an "I love you buddy" with a pat on the back and then walked off thinking to myself "Have I even seen that guy before? Ever?"

Some people call it assault or sexual harrassment. I just say if you're just that happy to see someone then give them a hug! :P (kidding)

Those randoms who try to sell you products as you walk along are quite determined. (I wonder if they break any laws assaulting people with make up.) There there, are you ok from the porr ordeal with that lady? Do you want a hug? :)

Anonymous said...

I was shocked to see that Bilby has used the exact same word that sprang to mind when I read the story. But mine was more about the creepy (but fabulous) Willy Wonka hug. How appropriate.